Definition: Insincere refusal of a thing that is desired Even though Walter's mum was chief cake maker at a prize-winning bakery, Little Billy didn't much like Walter. This is because Walter: (a) was 6 and a half years old (not 7, like any normal person) (b) was a teacher's pet (c) once laughed at him [...]
Definition: To stretch—like you do after waking. Tiffany had woken at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. After work, she'd gone with her brother to see a rugby game—it was his birthday. The thing was kinda boring. Everyone kept falling over and shouting. So she had a bit of a nap and was awakened [...]
Definition: To silently watch someone eating in the hope they will offer you food. Oh, how I wish the Little Squeak would groak. Instead, he generates decibels and yells 'Cheeeese'.
Definition: To leave somewhere abruptly. Oh dear. I must absquatulate. I was really enjoying this meeting about how to be an aggressively forward-facing corporate citizen in the current market space. You guys, keep up the good work.
Definition: The smell accompanying the first rain on dry soil. After a hot and dry week, a brief but intense shower left rainbows, petrichor and a very slippery footpath.
Definition: Made of rubbish, or in the nature of rubbish or waste material On the day of the Prime Minister's visit, there was an unfortunate incident in the main street involving a garbage truck, a chicken burger and a bollard. As a result, the Prime Minister arrived at the official venue and found it full [...]
Definition: Giving opinions outside one's knowledge or area of expertise (adjective or noun). Thinking he was attending the annual Astronomy Society dinner, the noted astronomer accidentally wandered into a meeting of the Astrology Association across the road. The attendees were learning how to read their future in the stars. Unfortunately, the constellation they selected had [...]
Defintiion: Resembling a bean. After his first woodwork project at school, Brian proudly presented his mum with a stool that had a fabiform seat and tenuously-attached legs of different length. Sitting on it was a hazardous business—their cat was never the same again.
Definition: To laugh loudly. Kookaburra cacchinates in the old gum tree. At 4am. The Little Squeak was impressed! But I was not ... Where is my coffee?`
We have a weird relationship with lawyers. If I mention my secret law degree, I generally get one of the following: Joke about prosecuting criminals / selling my soul / ambulance chasing. (These are all very funny, by the way.) Interrogation about how to save the world The question: Why don’t you have a lawyer [...]